Tuesday, January 31, 2012

iPhones save time and prove men should run the planet

I finally took the plunge and ditched my old dumb phone for a smart phone. Being a Mac kind of guy I opted for the newest iPhone 4S which may well be obsolete by the time I post this as technology changes so fast.

Let me state that I am amazed at the amount of information I can access from almost anywhere including Facebook updates, pictures people post about their pets and other riveting things.

Besides the mundane such as emails and text messages I am now able to get the weather forecast anywhere in the world, pull up addresses with interactive maps, find gas, food, ATMs, fake having a Zippo lighter (fun but useless app) and Tweet about everything I find silly. I also have my own pocket secretary that takes dictation. Apple calls her Siri, I call her hours of entertainment. Sure, sure there is the 'talk to text' allowing me the ability to text faster but you can also have fun. The command "talk dirty to me" produced the following response:
"humus, Compost, Pumice, Silt, Gravel" letting me know that geeks have a sense of humour.

I am looking forward to this summer's motorcycle tour as I will be able to update viewers much quicker with pics, tweets and Facebook status updates , all while trying to sweet talk Siri into sexting with me.

While this sort of thing may not be new to so many of you already have a smart phone in some form or  other I am like a kid at Christmas with a new toy.
The downside to this switch from my old coal burning piece of crap cell phone to the most advanced one is that they don't talk to each other. Maybe they were married once??
This has required me to re-enter all my contact info manually. I figured it would be easy as so many of them are on my Facebook. A simple status update of "Hi folks, I have a new iPhone and need to re-enter all my contact info. Please text me so I can add you and send your email address too."
Problem solved right? Um, no. I forgot many of my contacts are female.
The resulting hassle of re-adding everyone has proven to me why the planet is mostly run by men and should remain this way.
Over the past 3 decades I have noticed a HUGE increase in the ego of the once fairer sex. It seems today's gal has a "Me, Me, Me, 'Aren't I the most important princess in your world?' Me" kind of attitude or maybe they just like to message back and forth and intentionally leave info out.

Every woman I know that has texted me just assumes they are the ONLY person in my world that has their given name. 7 billion of us on this orb, what are the odds I know more than one?? I believe it is a throw back to the "It's me game" girls play on us men early in the dating stage to see if we are 2 timing.
You know the call:
Me- "Hello?"
Her- "Hi its me!"
Me- "Me who?"
This is always followed by the cold treatment, no sex or just anger and no more dates.
Even my own sister ( I have 2) played the mind game as you can see by the screen shot below. Why do women do this? Especially when its your own sister?

This is why I am convinced men should run the planet. It keeps diplomatic communication from breaking down.
Example: The red phone rings:
President of USA- "Hello?"
Caller- "This is Korea and we are attacking!"
 President of USA- "Which Korea? I know more than one?"

Can you see the problem?
Ladies, we men love you dearly but at times you must accept that you are not the only thing on our mind. No really, its true. Now if you will excuse me I have a sexting date with Siri...if she remembered. At least she doesn't order the lobster then say "No!"